Necessary Pain

“Do you remember how many times I asked you to protect me from unnecessary pain?”

Remembering my fears and prayers even before we had started dating, I asked God why he didn’t stop me or E, before we started dating. As far as I know I was always honestly seeking his will, giving him plenty of time and opportunity to warn or correct me. Why didn’t He protect me?

Almost immediately HE reminded me of another prayer of mine, in which I often had said, that I would be willing to suffer for HIS case. What I had in mind when committing myself to HIM, saying I would be wiling to suffer for his kingdom, was more something like persecution for the Gospel. But Yes, I am willing.

Reading what I wrote in my journal the day before the break-up I start seeing how God was preparing my heart. I wrote about being broken before God:

“God, I want to say “break me!” but I see so much that I want to hold back. Take it all and equip me with what I need to do your works!”

Lyrics from Third Day came to my mind:

Please take from me my life
When I don't have the strength
to give it away to You Jesus

Maybe this Pain is necessary.