What do I look forward to? Isn't it that way, that we usually always look forward to something. I used to. There were the weekends, with a lot of fun with friends, there were those times I was excited about an upcoming travel or just a holiday that I would spend with people I love or... I don't remember, but it feels as if there would have been always something . For many weeks I was constantly looking forward to the next time I would see E., now I remember how harsh it felt not having that anymore.
Nowadays it feels as if work would be my main Highlight, work and the moment at night after full long days but knowing I finished my days work. All that, while doing many other "fun"-things. But I'm not really excited about them. I do them, they are good for me and I kind of enjoy them but the excitement I show is rarely from my inside.
I really enjoy Work, though. I don't know what it is, just notice that it makes me more happy than any social event or fun-activity. Maybe it is the some kind of affirmation, which I seemingly need more than fun or relexation.
It is probably good, considering there might be only few people who love their work as I do, but at the same time it makes me a little sad. It would be awesome to get truly excited about something, to really be looking forward to something special,
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